In the End, She Dies.

I am tired.

Of everything.

A glass of vodka can't solve this; a night of passion has no appeal.

I just want out, is that really so bad?

Is it wrong to admit that you are wrong and that all your dreams were exactly that, dreams?

Is it wrong to enter quit on that controller?

Is it wrong to admit your mistakes and just watch them laugh?

Is it wrong to accept defeat, to crash and burn?

Come take me, Minneapolis.

I have played their games and have lost.

Show me diversity and promiscuity and all I have run from.

Come offer me a way out, far far away.

Bright lights, new faces, challenges.

Make my heart skip and my voice catch, my knees weak.

And when I scream professions of my love, echo it back to me.

That is more than I am used to.

Turn my heart to ice, my voice to butter and curves sultry.

Make me the surprise you are.

Make me sophisticated but haunted.

May I taunt the world as she did; seduce her, steal her innocence and then laugh.

Let her tears pour like rain on the unsuspecting as they are just as guilty.

Make her as bitter as I am, why should she be happy?

Neither should they escape nor exempt.

Sodom and Gomorrah was shown mercy.

Give them as they deserve, nothing more nor less.

Give me peace.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do.

I don't know about you but I've sworn off love so many times only to find someone who persuades me to do otherwise. Once my heart is broken; I remember why I don't believe in love. Love is eternal and forever. Love does not fade. Love is not lust and so far I've only been in lust.

My last breakup almost made me go mental but not because I was heartbroken. It was because some one finally beat at my game. I always manage to drive guys to want to break up with me and it always leaves me feeling empowered. But this guy won. I was just too blinded by my own libido to realize that he was playing my game. But now; I have come to terms with it. I just got to step my game up.

I really don't believe in love. I think people just grow on you and you try to lock them down through relationships. Or better yet; you have adrenaline flowing and you mistake that for your heart telling you to fall for someone.

I mean; I've dated people I didn't want to because I felt they would have undying loyalty to me because I could better their lives or gain from them. And it just feels like I'm finally beat.

I miss being in love but when I think about it; have I really been in love? I mean; with Tega, he was something I couldn't get, so I was more pleased to possess him than actually in love with him. Niyi, lets just say, the boy has some skill. Seni was another case; I just loved that boy. He was everything I wanted in a guy and of course, we are just best friends.

But now; I am about to lose a friend that ... let's just say, I'm not ready to lose. But I'm not going to make the same mistake and try to use a relationship to hold him down. I'm just going to let nature take it's course. For once.

What's a Crush to do?

Akonfused Gal.